By SASHA PASULKA
This past week was all about the television, as the Jersey Shore finale aired with 4.8 million viewers watching, marking a new ratings record for MTV and a fist-pump to the face of this season’s ratings-challenged The Hills.
The show’s success has also been good news for whomever owns the cast’s Seaside Heights beach house, as it’s currently renting at $3500/night, with prices going up to $6500/night for the summer. Jersey’s never been so classy!
American Idol refuses to be caught with its pants on the ground; the juggernaut pulled in well over 20 million viewers this week, despite initial fears that a Paula Abdul-less season nine would be a ratings disappointment. I have to admit, it’s strange watching the show when all the judges are sober and have at least a loose grasp of the English grammar, but I’m holding out hope that Ellen DeGeneres can develop a quick Xanax addiction before they begin filming live episodes with her as the fourth judge.
In other television news, the giant Hope for Haiti broadcast raised over $58 million the night it aired, with over 100 celebrities performing and/or answering phone calls from donors. Donations continue to pour in and will be accepted for the next six months.
In movie news — well, there is no movie news (it’s January, where bad movies go to die), but Wernersville resident Jon Gosselin was spotted with his new girlfriend, Morgan Christie, at the Sundance Film Festival in her home of Park City. Jon was looking large and in charge, with an emphasis on the large.
Hopefully the frigid Park City weather kicked his metabolism into high gear, because he just seems to be getting bigger every time we see a new photo of him. Lay off the beer, Jonny!
Also spotted at Sundance: Boston boy Ben Affleck, tossing back vodka with Tommy Lee Jones. Tsk tsk, Ben! Didn’t you already go to rehab for this behavior? You have a wife and two beautiful children waiting for you in Los Angeles. Perhaps you ought to make a brief detour through rehab on your way home?
Check back in next week for all the latest dirt from Hollywood!
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Sasha Pasulka is the managing editor of Evil Beet Gossip, your daily source of celeb gossip and snarky wit. Check us out at www.EvilBeetGossip.com.
January 28, 2010
JON’S LIVIN’ LARGE!
WHY I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY
By MOLLY DAVIS
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.
I won’t be making a pit stop at that juncture — I’ll walk, no I’ll sprint — right past that stupid holiday.
To me, it’s just a female version of the “mine is bigger than yours” contest in which men always engage.
But women are more subtle about it.
No harsh words, no fists – just backhanded “compliments” and smiles that don’t reach the eyes (AKA smirks).
One example?
“Your flowers are sooooo pretty,” says one co-worker to another. “MY boyfriend got me two dozen exotic flowers that had to be flown in from the end of the earth where they only bloom once every 27 years. But your roses are nice, too.”
It kind of sounds like a compliment to the untrained ear.
Far from it.
Mean girl translation:
My significant other loves me more, makes more money, is better than yours, so HA!
It’s a competition where she who gets the biggest, most expensive gift wins.
But they don’t win.
To me, if you need Valentine’s Day to “show off” how much your man loves you to all the other girls, then insecurity plays an important role in your relationship, so you lose.
Not that I don’t enjoy receiving gifts — I do — but if a man can only show his appreciation for me because the calender shames him into it one day a year, then I’ll pass.
Plus, flowers wilt, and I don’t like chocolate, so it’s just as well I don’t celebrate the holiday.
I’ve always felt this way — I didn’t acquire this attitude by being ignored one-to-many Valentine’s in the past.
Which, by the way, I have been.
I associate it with extreme pressure.
Who hasn’t heard these gems from women:
“He better get me a dozen roses or we’re through!”
“My husband sent me flowers at home. At home! Can you believe it? I wanted them to come to work so I could put them on my desk for everyone to see!”
“He got me pink roses. Not red, but pink.”
It’s hard to satisfy females on a normal day.
Throw in the pressure of this holiday, and even the nicest, well meaning of men will fall short.
Unless you get a stable, non-materialistic woman.
And they’re like unicorns.
OUR VIEW: THE ECONOMY’S WORST ENEMY
President Obama in his State of the Union address tried to shift his focus more toward the economy. The economy really drives politics because it is what people care about, having jobs. But one of the main reasons the economy has not improved is because of Obama’s own policies that he pursued before his address.
However, the policies that he now proposes to help the economy likely will not have a major impact, either.
Before the State of the Union address, Obama’s main focus over the past year has been trying to change the health-care system. Obama made this item the top item on his agenda. No great clamor existed that forced Obama to put his energies into changing the health-care system, though, particularly because people were most worried about the economy.
But Obama focused on the health-care system anyway. Unfortunately, when he talked about health care, Obama actually hurt the economy. The specter of a government-run health-care company or a reasonable approximation seemed to forecast higher taxes and more stagnant economic growth. Businesses were afraid because they did not know how high their taxes would go to pay for whatever new health-care legislation might be passed.
The stimulus plan did not help, either. Obama got Congress to pass a bill appropriating almost $800 billion in stimulus money, but much of this money has not been spent. What money has been spent cannot be said to have had any major effect on boosting the economy.
In his State of the Union address, Obama has called for a spending freeze. Obama made this move to appear fiscally conservative. But what the spending freeze would cover is not clear. Spending might actually rise, even if Congress does pass the spending freeze.
The best way for Obama to help the economy would be to end these big spending policies. He should stop trying to pass pork barrel bills that are in the guise of creating jobs. He also should abandon any plans for government to run health care in any form.
These plans only create uncertainty among businesses and further prevent an economic recovery. Instead, Obama should scale back his requests for new programs, and let businesses create new jobs.
January 22, 2010
POLICE: MAN THREATENED TO KILL ANY OFFICER
A 67-year-old Schaefferstown man threatened to shoot and kill any police officer during two calls in Heidelberg Township, Lebanon County on Jan. 12 and 20, state police at Jonestown said.
In the calls, George Horst Jr. said he would shoot and kill and officer who either came to his residence or tried to conduct a traffic stop on his vehicle, state police said.
Horst was charged with two counts of terroristic threats, two counts of harassment and two counts of disorderly conduct, state police said.
Horst was taken into custody and arraigned with bail set at $50,000. He was unable to post bail and was sent to the Lebanon County Prison, state police said.
Police: Man hit girl in head
A 49-year-old Lebanon man struck a 12-year-old girl in the head with an open hand on June 9, county detectives said.
John Moffitt was cited with harassment on Jan. 20, detectives said.
Detectives: Man linked to 23 burglaries
A Hershey man went on burglary spree last year, hitting 23 locations in broad daylight, Lebanon County detectives said.
Edwin Miller, 43, was charged with 23 felony counts, theft by unlawful taking and receiving stolen property, detectives said.
Miller with various other persons targeted construction sites and storage units in January 2009, detectives said.
The suspects cut the padlocks on the units and steal items that could be sold in pawn shops later, detectives said.
Miller is serving a one- to two-year state prison term for similar acts in other municipalities, detectives said.
The charges are a result of a cooperative investigation with Lebanon County Detectives, North Lebanon police, South Lebanon police, Palmyra police and the state police at Jonestown, detectives said.
Police: Man robbed Turkey Hill
A 23-year-old man robbed a Turkey Hill on Lancaster Pike in Drumore Township on Dec. 7, state police at Lancaster said.
William Grace Jr. 23, was charged on Jan. 20, and is in the slammer in Maryland for additional robbery charges, state police said.
In the robbery, Grace and another suspect entered the store demanded money from the cash register, and when the clerk didn’t immediately respond, one of the men grabbed a pair of scissors, state police said.
Vehicles crack up in Paradise
Vehicles driven by Richard Polleck, 49, of Bear, Del., and John Jannuzzio, 46, of Newark, Del., were involved in an accident on Route 30 in Paradise Township on Jan. 16, state police at Lancaster said.
Nobody was injured.
Man’s vehicle hits utility pole
A vehicle driven by George Hodgson, 81, of Upper Chichester, lost control on a curve and barreled into a utility pole on Christiana Pike in Bart Township on Jan. 7, state police at Lancaster said.
Nobody was injured.
Vehicles smack up in Leacock
Vehicles driven by Jessica Shrock, 31, of Ronks, and Alan Railing, of Willow Street, were involved in an accident outside of Kauffman’s Market on Old Philadelphia Pike in Leacock Township on Jan. 19, state police at Lancaster said.
Nobody was injured.
Baby treated after accident
Vehicles driven by Christopher Cafaro, 31, of Yuba City, Calif., and Benjamin Mootz, 33, of Lebanon, were involved in an accident at routes 422 and 934 in Annville on Jan. 19, township police said.
Mootz’s 18-month-old daughter was treated by EMTs at the scene, and nobody else was injured, police said.
Assisting police at the scene were the Union Hose Fire Company, Fire Police and First Aid and Safety Patrol.
Police: DUI suspect had drug paraphernalia
Mack Rhea, 67, of Peach Bottom, was arrested for DUI after a traffic stop on Route 222 in Fulton Township on Dec. 30, state police at Lancaster said.
Rhea also had drug paraphernalia in his possession, state police said.
Police: Boys face theft charges
Two Palmyra area boys, aged 14 and 15, face several charges, including theft by unlawful taking, for an incident on North Railroad Street in Palmyra on Nov. 22, borough police said.
Police: Boy charged with theft
A 15-year-old Palmyra area boy was charged with theft by unlawful taking after an incident on North Railroad Street in Palmyra on Nov. 11, borough police said.
Slugs steal man’s snowmobile
Slugs stole a red Yamaha snowmobile from a property on West Cherry Street in Palmyra on Jan. 21, borough police said.
The victim is Douglas Miller, 31, of Palmyra.
Vehicles collide in mall parking lot
Vehicles driven by D. Timothy Fogelsanger, 28, of Lebanon, and Richard Showers, 64, of Lebanon, were involved in an accident in the Lebanon Plaza Mall parking lot in North Cornwall on Jan. 16, township police said.
Nobody was injured.
Vehicles crack up in North Cornwall
Vehicles driven by Steven Wolfe, 21, of Lebanon, and Melissa Dorsey, 31, of Lebanon, were involved in an accident at 16th and Center streets in North Cornwall on Jan. 17, township police said.
Nobody was injured.
Vehicles strikes boy on bike
A vehicle struck a boy on a bike at West Cumberland and South 22nd Streets in North Cornwall on Jan. 20, township police said.
The bicyclist was trying to cross West Cumberland Street and was hit by a vehicle driven by Mable See, 52, of Lebanon, police said.
The boy was taken to Hershey Medical Center for a leg injury.
The boy attempted to get across the intersection when he didn’t have the pedestrian signal, police said.
He also didn’t have a light on his bike and was wearing dark clothing, making it hard for motorists to see him, police said.
POLICE: ARMED TEENS ROB DORM ROOM
One 19-year-old man and two boys robbed three men at gunpoint at a dorm room at the Thaddeus Stevens Technical Institute in Lancaster on Jan. 16, state police at Lancaster said.
Ryan Massenburg, 19, of Lancaster and the two Lancaster boys, aged 14 and 15, were charged with burglary, robbery, criminal conspiracy and theft by unlawful taking, state police said.
The masked suspects knocked on the dorm room door, and two of them displayed a knife while the other held a gun, state police said.
The suspects put various items into a black trash bag and fled, state police said.
The victims are Richard Ohaus, 18, of Dingmans Ferry, Jason Strayline, 20, of Morton and Donald Haselrig, 19, of Pittsburgh, state police said.
On Jan. 17, Massenburg was detained for questioning and ran away from a police officer, state police said.
When he was nabbed, Massenburg had marijuana in his possession, state police said.
He also was charged with resisting arrest, drug possession and false identification to law enforcement, state police said.
‘KUMM ESSE’ KATIE
COURIC MAKES STUNNING APPEARANCE AT DINER
Stunning CBS anchorwoman Katie Couric had jaws dropping when she visited the legendary Kumm Esse Diner in Myerstown — twice in one day.
Couric, flanked by her hairdresser and makeup artists, picked up a cup of coffee to go on Jan. 6 — a day before her 53rd birthday, sources said.
The news cutie and her posse were so impressed with how the food looked and smelled, they returned to the Route 422 eatery for lunch.
Dressed in jeans, boots and sweater, Couric’s warm smile dazzled employees and customers as she consumed her soup.
“TV does her no justice,” one observer said. “She is prettier in person.”
Couric was in the region to work on a two-part series “Antibiotics and Our Food,” which aired on the CBS Evening News on Jan. 20 and 21. She visited a turkey farm in Jackson Township, a source said.
“She (and her team) were very friendly and down to earth,” a source said.
NOTHING’S BETTER THAN A GOOD RUN
By SARA HAUFF DORAN
A 5K run for me is relaxing — almost as good as a massage, a dip in the hot tub or a good night’s sleep.
I associate my running with my track and field days in high school where I excelled. It took four years for me to progress in sprinting, but it was worth every exhausting day of practice.
The first day I tried out for track and field as a freshman, I remember clearly that I was one of, if not the last runner to finish four laps around the school (not sure the distance exactly, but it was further than I had run to date). I was so out of breath and quite embarrassed.
But I didn’t let my ego hold me back and luckily I attended a small school where everyone made the team if they tried out. It turned out to be my favorite sport and it gave me much pride to know that I stuck with a sport that didn’t come easy to me.
Flash forward 19 years and I’m so glad that it’s a sport that I can keep doing. I don’t run as regularly as I would like, but when I do, I am able to complete a 5K (3.1 miles) with more ease than I was able to do in my early days running.
But I often hear that I am wearing out my joints by running and that I won’t be able to continue in my older years. So far so good on that front — I have not had a major injury from running (just sprained ankles and shin splints).
But is it inevitable that I get injured running or perhaps worse yet, that I am doing long-term damage to my joints by running? The jury is still out on that one, but it leads me to my next point. Why not walk, instead of run for exercise? Well, here are my reasons I prefer running to walking:
It’s a more efficient form of exercise (in other words, I burn more calories in a shorter amount of time).
I find it more challenging than walking. I often get too bored walking and can’t get “in the zone” like when I’m running. I do some of my best thinking on a run.
Plus I still have that competitive spirit in me that keeps me coming back to running. I will probably never sprint like I used to in my teens, but I can set other goals like longer distances.
All in all, running is something I would like to continue to do as long as my body will cooperate. As I get older, I may have to change it up, such as running on softer surfaces that are easier on the joints, but the older runners I often see around my neighborhood inspire me. They don’t let their age get in the way of a good run. I hope that is me in 20 years.
LACKLUSTER GOLDEN GLOBES
By SASHA PASULKA
This week in celeb gossip was dominated by the Golden Globes and NBC’s decision to give Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show timeslot back to Jay Leno, and I have to admit I was bored by both.
From a red-carpet perspective, the Golden Globes were a grim affair — the rare Los Angeles downpour combined with the tragedy in Haiti caused celebs to err on the side of caution, so we didn’t see a lot of fun or interesting fashion choices.
Kate Hudson, Lea Michele and Olivia Wilde sported some of my favorite looks, while Mariah Carey, Penelope Cruz and Fergie disappointed.
From an awards perspective, it started out on the right note, with Mo’Nique taking home a best supporting actress award for her phenomenal turn as an abusive mother in “Precious,” but then it veered off-course, as Sandra Bullock inexplicably beat out Helen Mirren and Gabourey Sidibe for the best motion-picture actress, Julianna Margulies bested Anna Paquin and Glenn Close for the best television actress, and James Cameron’s three-dimensions-but-zero-script “Avatar” scored the best motion picture win.
Meanwhile, the nation rallies firmly around O’Brien – something they seemed unwilling to do before, you know, NBC canceled his show and gave Leno his time slot back.
While NBC’s decision might not delight the Internet, it makes good business sense: Leno consistently beat CBS’s David Letterman in the ratings, whereas Conan couldn’t ever seem to best him.
Leno’s primetime show’s been getting slammed for months – it can’t compete with existing primetime television. It was a poor decision on NBC’s part to move Leno in the first place, and now they’re going to take heat for trying to make it right again.
It’s not especially fair to O’Brien, but, in the end, NBC answers to its stockholders, not to Conan, and this is the right call. It’s not personal; it’s just business.
On a happier note, hometown cutie Taylor Swift just released a fantastic new single called “Today Was a Fairytale,” used in the upcoming film Valentine’s Day, where Taylor S. has a cameo opposite her former love, Taylor Lautner.
I’ve been listening to it over and over again since it first showed up on YouTube on Tuesday. I adore her so!
While Kate Gosselin comes to terms with her new hair extensions, ex-hubby Jon seems to be coming closer to his new girlfriend, Park City lady Morgan Christie. He’s been spotted out regularly with the 25-year-old Morgan and her family.
In an even stranger turn, Jon’s former flame, ex-Star reporter Kate Major, has taken up with none other than Father of the Year Michael Lohan, who palled around with Jon in the months following his split from Kate. This Kate Major chick is either addicted to fame or the beer gut – it’s anyone’s guess which. Man, I’d much rather be dealing with hair extensions than love triangles composed entirely of crazy people. Kate wins. Check back next week to see what all our favorite beautiful fools are up to!
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Sasha Pasulka is the managing editor of Evil Beet Gossip, your daily source of celeb gossip and snarky wit. Check us out at www.EvilBeetGossip.com.
FACE IT, HEIDI, YOU’RE A BOOB!
By MOLLY DAVIS
Dear Heidi Montag,
You are disgusting.
In a week where people are donating their time and money to the relief effort in earthquake ravaged Haiti, you are peddling you plastic surgery makeover.
It doesn’t bother me that you had plastic surgery.
If you want to change something about yourself, change it — I’ll be first in line to get a nip and tuck when I feel I need one.
Or two.
But you shamelessly promoting your 10-in-one-pop procedures is gross — especially now.
Open you squinty, over-botoxed eyes and look around.
Make your over-collagened lips speak about something other than you and your mindless endeavors.
You’re on the cover of “People” with the headline “Addicted to Plastic Surgery.”
Which is more ink than you deserve.
But that was not enough.
Then you had to go on every entertainment magazine and defend your surgeries and make clear that you were NOT addicted to plastic surgery.
Anything that gets your frozen face more air time.
The piece de resistance is her religious spin of all these events.
Heidi says she’s uber-religious, and God plays the most important role in her everyday life.
When confronted by an interviewer about God creating us as we are, and asked if He would approve, she came up with this gem:
“I think God gave me a little extra (referring to her self-described large chin) so I could fix it.”
That’s a rather interesting interpretation.
I doubt God gave you a Jay Leno chin so you could hack it up.
For once, your husband, Spencer, has not jumped on the media train wreck that is your life.
Heidi said, “Spencer didn’t want me to have this done. He was afraid for me.” And he should’ve been, because you’re well on your way to looking like the infamous cat lady.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if when you opened your mouth to speak, a strangled “Meow” escaped from the inflated pillow disguised as lips.
Which would have been a welcome change from the usual drivel you spout.
January 15, 2010
POLICE: MAN BEATS UP VICTIM, OFFERS HIM BEER
A suspect battered another man and then offered to buy him a beer, state police said.
The suspect, Tyler Haas, 23, of Schuylkill Haven, grabbed Bret Reifsnyder, 23, of Orwigsburg, by the back of his jacket and shoved him against a concrete wall at the parking lot of Michael B’s Bar and Grill in West Brunswick Township on Jan. 15, state police at Schuylkill Haven said.
The suspect struck Reifsnyder three times until he fell down, and then kicked him before slamming his head on the ground, state police said.
After the assault, state police said Haas and Reifsnyder shook hands and Haas told the victim, “We settled it; I don’t have a problem with you anymore. We’re cool now!”
Haas faces simple assault and harassment charges, state police said.
Crews contain fuel spill
Crews quickly contained an accidental release of diesel fuel near the Quittapahilla Creek in Annville on Jan. 13, township police said.
Annville police, Lebanon County Hazmat and the Fish and Boat Commission responded to the call for the fuel spill that originated on North Railroad Street to the area of the creek, police said.
Van hits railing, steps & flees
A white work van hit the railing and steps of a front deck and fled the scene on Sixth Street in East Norwegian Township on Jan. 13, state police at Schuylkill Haven said.
The van, which had an orange ladder, was trying to make a U-turn, state police said.
The victim is Michael Buchinsky, of Port Carbon.
Anybody with information is asked to contact the state police at (570) 593-2000.
Slugs swipe gun from home
Goons grabbed a 9mm Taurus handgun from a residence on the 1200 block of Red Hill Road in Middle Paxton Township on Jan. 13, state police at Harrisburg said.
Knuckleheads steal jewelry
Thugs forced open the front door of a home and grabbed jewelry on Stoudt Road in South Hanover Township, Dauphin County, on Jan. 13, state police at Harrisburg said.
The victim is Teisha Eismann, state police said.
Jerks smash window, take $$$
Creeps smashed a mini-van window and grabbed $8 on Jeff Lane in South Hanover Township, Dauphin County, between Jan. 12 and 13, state police at Harrisburg said.
The victim is Mary Lathrop, state police said.
3 vehicles crack up on Rt. 283
Vehicles driven by Marsha Bair, 55, of Middletown, Daniel Seibert, 18, of Middletown, and Robert Markley, 54, of Elizabethtown, were involved in an accident on Route 283 in Lower Swatara Township, Dauphin County, on Jan. 13, state police at Harrisburg said.
Nobody was injured.
Police: Man took items from home
A 21-year-old man is accused of removing items from a home for almost two months on Towpath Road in North Annville Township, state police at Jonestown said.
Joshua Bennett was staying at the residence, and the amount of items taken constitutes a felony in the third degree, state police said.
The victim is Barbara Bennett, 44, state police said.
Anybody with information on Joshua Bennett’s whereabouts is asked to contact the state police at (717) 865-2194.
Police: Man punched woman
A 55-year-old Harrisburg man punched a woman and threw her down during an incident on Jonestown Road in West Hanover Township, Dauphin County, on Jan. 15, state police at Harrisburg said.
Kenneth Hinkle was charged with simple assault and harassment, state police said.
The victim is Gina Schulthiss, 45, state police said.
Vehicles collide in West Brunswick
Vehicles driven by Henry Reber, 48, of Schuylkill Haven, and Matthew Laubenstine, 22, of Orwigsburg, were involved in an accident on Route 61 in West Brunswick Township on Jan. 13, state police at Schuylkill Haven said.
Both drivers had minor injuries.
Graffiti goons attack building
Slugs spray-painted the rear of the Alpha Commercial Building on West Main Street in Palmyra on Jan. 14, borough police said.
Man taken to hosp after accident
Vehicles driven by Deeann Remlinger, 57, of Lebanon, and Malcolm Donnelly, 47, of Millersburg, were involved in an accident on the 900 block of East Main Street in Palmyra on Jan. 14, borough police said.
Donnelly was taken to Hershey Medical Center, state police said.
Police: Boys entered vehicle
Two Palmyra area boys, aged 14 and 15, entered a vehicle on on the 100 block of South Locust Street in Palmyra recently, borough police said.
The boys face criminal conspiracy charges, police said.
The victim is Frank Capitani, 73, of Hershey, police said.
Thugs take GPS from vehicle
Goons grabbed a black Garmin GPS from a vehicle on East Main Street in Palmyra on Jan. 13, borough police said.
The victim is Randy Ness, 33, of Palmyra, police said.
